Friday, May 29, 2015

SECOND TIME ROUND



Before moving to London I never had in my plans that I would be pregnant over here, not only once, but twice. Especially after being pregnant with little A and having all the terrible symptoms I unfortunately experienced I didn't feel like I ever wanted to go through it again. But then I saw how much joy little A could bring to everyday life and suddenly I changed my mind. I suffered from extreme nausea all throughout my last pregnancy and this time it has been even worse. I only eat because otherwise the nausea gets worse, but I have not had an appetite for six months now. At least I don't have any cravings, but I sometimes wish I had that instead so I didn't have to force myself to eat. I can only eat something light and no meat or anything with garlic or other special tastes. No sweet stuff either so not sure I will manage to have any ice creams this summer.

The first three to four months I gained most of the weight I put on this time as I thought eating would make my nausea go away, but it only made it worse. Besides from that I have PGP, but at least that was worse the first time. I already had problems walking after the first six weeks. Although I can walk much more this time it is now difficult for me to sleep as it is extremely painful lying down and I wake up most of the night not being able to catch my breath and being in pain. This child better be as cute as little A, because I feel like I have gone through a lot to get where I am.

Last time I kept reminding myself that as soon as I had given birth I would feel much better. But that was before I knew that little A was a tiny baby who had to eat every hour, sometimes more, so sleep wasn't an option for the first four months. I have wanted to run away from it all so many times during those first months, but that only made me stronger. So this time I have sort of prepared myself that this year would be spent on feeling miserable, but at least I can look forward to enjoying the time with not only one, but two children from then on. Little A is keeping my mood up most of the time and keeping me really busy.

Another thing I look forward to when getting back to my old self in a few months time will be to buy new clothes. Not clothes to any of the children, but to me. Above picture just shows how my life is now; trying to be stylish, but the floor mop in the background and little A not cooperating shows that is not always easy. Hopefully moving back would mean that we would get more help from the family and people often comment that this would make it much easier coping with two small children. It definitely will, but the next few years will still be difficult. Having children is not easy but as difficult as it can be it can also be the most rewarding experience.

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